Archive for December 16th, 2010

Back to the future

It never fails; every year I’m flabbergasted (don't you love that word?) at how fast Christmas rolls around. One minute we're celebrating 4th of July, then BOO! a kid dressed up like a ghost shows up at the door begging for treats. Might as well hand out candy canes because we all know how fast time flies after that. The BIG DAY is just a week or so away and I’m still in denial.

Yesterday I listened to several renditions of the renowned holiday song, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," and had to laugh at a line in the intro that says, "Christmas future is far away." Really? What part don't they get about ONLY 8 MORE SHOPPING DAYS?!

Exactly just how far in the future are we talking about here? 

Seriously, though – Christmas future? What do you suppose that might look like? Obviously there's no guarantee that I’ll make it through this one, let alone twenty or so more, so what good does it do to project? Still, I have to wonder:

  • Will there be more grandchildren (or great-grandchildren) gathered round my tree? More fun on Christmas morning but also more toys that need to be assembled and a lot more batteries! I'll need to set up a serious Christmas Club account which means I'll need to get a part-time job, or figure out a way to monetize my blog. Note to self: buy stock in Wal Mart and Duracell.
  • How much longer will I hold the title of Christmas Cookie Baker for the Ely family? Maybe I could pass the cookie cutters to someone else? Daughter, daughter-in-law (need to get one first) or grand-daughter? Let’s not have any gender bias; maybe it will be one of my grandsons. Anyone? Hello?

  • Will we ever get to celebrate the holidays in Northern Italy with my Marini relatives? Per Favore?

  • Maybe we'll move: a cottage near the ocean? Mountains? Down the street? ITALY?  Hey, if a girl can dream, so can an old lady.

  • Will there be new traditions? Cause the tradition of the tree falling over is getting pretty old.

  • Will we continue to have our annual Ely Unplugged talent show and will Roger and I re-enact the “What About Bob?” movie even when we're old and grey? Wait – we're already old and grey.

  • Will I ever actually send the Christmas cards, because that would require remembering to buy them, or remembering where I put the ones I bought on sale last year?

  • Will the annual Christmas update letter ever go out of fashion? Please? I really do not want to know the gory details of all your medical procedures. You know who you are.  

  • Will my husband ever stop buying old-fashioned Wooly Willy stocking stuffers….for himself?!

  • Will I turn into my Mom and only put up a table-top tree? YES. Next year.

  • Will I ever be able to figure out my Mom’s cryptic fudge recipe?

  • Will my heart always turn into absolute mush when I hear “O, Holy Night?”

  • Will they ever make a holiday movie better than “White Christmas?” Will any woman’s waist ever be as small as Vera-Ellen’s?

  • Will I ever lose my weird sense of holiday humor?

THE LAST COURSE:

Not feeling much like laughing or making merry this Christmas? Writing this post helped me lighten up; I hope it brought a smile to your face, too, and remember – "God will let you laugh again; you'll raise the roof with shouts of joy!"